ACT III

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Gama.   Whene'er I spoke Sarcastic joke Replete with malice spiteful,   This people mild Politely smil'd, And voted me delightful!   Now, when a wight Sits up all night Ill-natur'd jokes devising,   And all his wiles Are met with smiles It's hard, there's no disguising!     Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong,   And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!     Chorus.   Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Gama.   When German bands From music stands Play'd Wagner imperfectly   I bade them go They didn't say no, But off they went directly!   The organ boys They stopp'd their noise, With readiness surprising   And grinning herds Of hurdy-gurds Retired apologising!     Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong,   And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!       Chorus.   Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Gama.   I offer'd gold In sums untold To all who'd contradict me —   I said I'd pay A pound a day To anyone who kick'd me —   I brib'd with toys Great vulgar boys To utter something spiteful,   But, bless you, no! They would be so Confoundedly politeful!     Ah! In short, these aggravating lads, They tickle my tastes, they feed my fads,   They give me this and they give me that, And I've nothing whatever to grumble at!     Chorus.   Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!

He bursts into tears, and falls sobbing on a seat.

Page modified 27 August 2019