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No. 13: FINALE ACT I
"When darkly looms the day"
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As it commences, the Peers appear at the back, advancing unseen and on tiptoe. Lord Mountararat and Lord Tolloller lead Phyllis between them, who listens in horror to what she hears.
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Phyllis much agitated at her lover's supposed faithlessness.
| Iolanthe. (to Strephon) |
| When tempests wreck thy bark, And all is drear and dark, If thou shouldst need an Ark, I'll give thee one! |
| Phyllis. (speaking aside to Lord Tolloller) |
| What was that? |
| Lord Tolloller. (aside to Phyllis) |
| I heard the minx remark, She'd meet him after dark, Inside St. James's Park, And give him one! |
| Peers. |
| We heard the minx remark, She'd meet him after dark, Inside St. James's Park, And give him one! |
| Phyllis. | Iolanthe. | Lord Tol. | Lord Mount. | Strephon. |
| The prospect's very bad, |
The prospect's not so bad, |
The prospect's not so bad, |
The prospect's not so bad, |
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| My heart so sore and sad | Thy heart so sore and sad | My heart so sore and sad | My heart so sore and sad | |
| Will never more be glad | May very soon be glad | May very soon be glad | May very soon be glad | |
| As summer's sun. | As summer's sun. | As summer's sun. | As summer's sun. | |
| For when the sky is dark | For when the sky is dark | For when the sky is dark | For when the sky is dark | |
| And tempests wreck his bark, | And tempests wreck thy bark, | And tempests wreck his bark, | And tempests wreck my bark, | |
| If he should need an Ark, |
If thou shouldst need an Ark, |
If he should need an Ark, |
If I should need an Ark, |
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| She'll give him one, | I'll give thee one, | She'll give him one, | She'll give me one, | |
| Give him one, | Ah, give thee one, | Ah, give him one, | Ah, give him one, | |
| Ah, one! | Ah, give thee one! | Ah, give him one! | Give him one! | Ah, one! |
| Phyllis. (revealing herself) | Ah! |
Iolanthe and Strephon much confused.
| Phyllis. |
| Oh, shameless one, tremble! Nay, do not endeavour Thy fault to dissemble, We part — and for ever! I worshipped him blindly, He worships another — |
| Strephon. |
| Attend to me kindly, This lady's my mother! |
| Lord Tolloller. |
| This lady's his what? |
| Strephon. |
| This lady's my mother! |
| Tenors. |
| This lady's his what? |
| Basses. |
| He says she's his mother! |
They point derisively to Iolanthe, laughing heartily at her. She goes for protection to Strephon.
Enter Lord Chancellor. Iolanthe veils herself.
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| Lord Chancellor. (sternly) |
| Recollect yourself, I pray, And be careful what you say — As the ancient Romans said, festina lente. For I really do not see How so young a girl could be The mother of a man of five-and-twenty. |
| Peers. |
| Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! |
| Strephon. |
My Lord, of evidence I have no dearth — In babyhood |
| Lord Chancellor. (much moved) |
| Had that refreshment been denied, Indeed our Strephon might have died! |
| Peers. (much affected) |
| Had that refreshment been denied, Indeed our Strephon might have died! |
| Lord Mountararat. |
| But as she's not His mother, it appears, Why weep these hot Unnecessary tears? And by what laws Should we so joyously Rejoice, because Our Strephon did not die? Oh rather let us pipe our eye Because our Strephon did not die! |
| Peers. |
| That's very true — let's pipe our eye Because our Strephon did not die! |
All weep. Iolanthe, who has succeeded in hiding her face from Lord Chancellor, escapes unnoticed.
| Phyllis. |
| Go, traitorous one — for ever we must part: To one of you, my Lords, I give my heart! |
| Peers. |
| Oh, rapture! |
| Strephon. |
| Hear me, Phyllis, ere you leave me. |
| Phyllis. |
| Not a word — you did deceive me. |
| Peers. |
| Not a word — you did deceive her. |
Exit Strephon.
| Phyllis. | |
For riches and rank I do not long — The riches and rank that you befall |
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| Phyllis. (to Lord Mountararat and Lord Tolloller) |
| To you I give my heart so rich! |
| Peers. (puzzled) |
| To which? |
| Phyllis. |
| I do not care! To you I yield — it is my doom! |
| Peers. |
| To whom? |
| Phyllis. |
| I'm not aware! I'm yours for life if you but choose. |
| Peers. |
| She's whose? |
| Phyllis. |
| That's your affair! I'll be a countess, shall I not? |
| Peers. |
| Of what? |
| Phyllis. |
| I do not care! |
| Peers. |
| Lucky little lady! Strephon's lot is shady; Rank, it seems, is vital, "Countess" is the title, Yes, countess, countess the title, the title, But of what I'm not aware! But of what I'm not aware! |
Enter Strephon.
| Strephon. |
| Can I inactive see my fortune fade? No, no! |
| Peers. |
| Ho, ho! |
| Strephon. |
| No, no! |
| Peers. |
| Ho, ho! |
| Strephon. |
| Mighty protectress, hasten to my aid! |
Enter Fairies, tripping, headed by Celia, Leila, and Fleta, and followed by Queen.
| Fairies. |
| Tripping hither, tripping thither, Nobody knows why or whither; Why you want us we don't know, But you've summoned us, and so Enter all the little fairies To their usual tripping measure! To oblige you all our care is — Tell us, pray, what is your pleasure! |
| Strephon. |
| The lady of my love has caught me talking to another — |
| Peers. |
| Oh, fie! young Strephon is a rogue! |
| Strephon. |
| I tell her very plainly that the lady is my mother |
| Peers. |
| Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! |
| Strephon. |
| She won't believe my statement, and declares we must be parted, Because on a career of double-dealing I have started, Then gives her hand to one of these, and leaves me broken-hearted — |
| Peers. |
| Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! |
| Queen. |
| Ah, cruel ones, to separate two lovers from each other! |
| Fairies. |
| Oh, fie! our Strephon's not a rogue! |
| Queen. |
| You've done him an injustice, for the lady is his mother! |
| Fairies. |
| Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! |
| Lord Chancellor. |
| That fable perhaps may serve his turn as well as any other. (Aside.) I didn't see her face, but if they fondled one another, And she's but seventeen — I don't believe it was his mother! Taradiddle, taradiddle. |
| Fairies. |
| Tol lol lay! |
| Lord Tolloller. |
| I have often had a use For a thorough-bred excuse Of a sudden (which is English for "repente"), But of all I ever heard This is much the most absurd, For she's seventeen, and he is five-and-twenty! |
| Fairies. | Peers. |
| Though she is seventeen, and he is four or five-and-twenty! Oh, fie! our Strephon's not a rogue! |
For she is seventeen, and he is four or five-and-twenty! Oh, fie! young Strephon is a rogue! |
| Lord Mountararat. |
| Now, listen, pray to me, For this paradox will be Carried, nobody at all contradicente. Her age, upon the date Of his birth, was minus eight, If she's seventeen, and he is five-and-twenty! |
| Fairies & Peers. |
| If she is seventeen, and he is only five-and-twenty. |
| Fairies. | Peers. |
| To say she is his mother is an utter bit of folly! Oh, fie! our Strephon's not a rogue! Perhaps his brain is addled, and it's very melancholy! Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! I wouldn't say a word that could be reckoned as injurious, But to find a mother younger than her son is very curious, And that's a kind of mother that is usually spurious. Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! |
To say she is his mother is an utter bit of folly! Oh, fie! young Strephon is a rogue! Perhaps his brain is addled, and it's very melancholy! Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! I wouldn't say a word that could be reckoned as injurious, But to find a mother younger than her son is very curious, And that's a kind of mother that is usually spurious. Taradiddle, taradiddle, tol lol lay! |
| Lord Chancellor. |
| Go away, madam; I should say, madam, You display, madam, Shocking taste. It is rude, madam, To intrude, madam, With your brood, madam, Brazen-faced! You come here, madam, Interfere, madam, With a peer, madam. (I am one.) You're aware, madam, What you dare, madam, So take care, madam, And begone! |
| Fairies. (To Queen) |
| Let us stay, madam; I should say, madam, They display, madam, Shocking taste. It is rude, madam, To allude, madam, To your brood, madam, Brazen-faced! We don't fear, madam, Any peer, madam, Though, my dear madam, This is one. They will stare, madam, When aware, madam, What they dare, madam — What they've done! |
| Queen. (furious) |
| Bearded by these puny mortals! I will launch from fairy portals All the most terrific thunders In my armoury of wonders! |
| Phyllis. (aside) |
| Should they launch terrific wonders, All would then repent their blunders. Surely these must be immortals. |
| Phyllis. | Queen. | Fairies. | Peers. |
| Surely | Bearded | Let us stay, madam; I should | Go away, madam; I should |
| these must | by these | say, madam, They dis- | say, madam, You dis- |
| be im- | puny | play, madam, Shocking | play, madam, Shocking |
| mortals! | mortals! | taste. It is | taste. It is |
| Should they | I will | rude, madam, To al- | rude, madam, To in- |
| launch from | launch from | lude, madam, To your | trude, madam, With your |
| fairy | fairy | brood, madam, Brazen- | brood, madam, Brazen- |
| portals | portals | faced! We don't | faced! You come |
| All their | All the | fear, madam, Any | here, madam, Inter- |
| most ter- | most ter- | peer, madam, Tho' my | fere, madam, With a |
| rific | rific | dear madam, This is | peer, madam. (I am |
| wonders, | thunders, | one. They will | one.) You're a- |
| We should | In my | stare, madam, When a- | ware, madam, What you |
| then repent | armoury | ware, madam, What they dare, | dare, madam, So take care, |
| madam, When a- | madam, What you | ||
| our | of | ware, madam, What they've | dare, madam, And be |
| blunders! | wonders! | done! They will stare When aware | gone! You're aware, What you dare |
| What they dare, | So take care, | ||
| Should repent,... | What they've done, madam, | And begone!... | |
| They will stare madam, When a- | |||
| My | ware, madam, What they | ||
| re- | dare, madam, What they've | ||
| pent... | armoury... | done, madam, They will stare | You're aware, |
| madam, When aware, madam, | madam, what you dare, madam, | ||
| our blunders! | of wonders! | What they dare, madam, | So take care, madam, |
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What they've done! |
And be gone! | ||
| They will stare, madam, | You're aware, madam, | ||
| When aware, | What you dare, | ||
| What they dare, madam, | So take care, madam, | ||
| What they've done, madam | And be gone, madam, | ||
| We should | They will |
They will stare, madam, When a- | You're aware, madam, What you |
| then, should | soon, will | ware, madam, What they | dare, madam, So take |
| then repent! | soon repent! | dare, madam, What they've done! | care, madam, And be gone! |
Exit Phyllis.
| Queen. |
| Oh! Chancellor unwary It's highly necessary Your tongue to teach Respectful speech — Your attitude to vary! Your badinage so airy, Your manner arbitrary, Are out of place When face to face With an influential Fairy. |
| Peers. (aside) |
| We never knew We were talking to An influential Fairy! |
| Lord Chancellor. |
| A plague on this vagary, I'm in a nice quandary! Of hasty tone With dames unknown I ought to be more chary; It seems that she's a fairy From Andersen's library, And I took her for The proprietor Of a Ladies' Seminary! |
| Peers. |
| We took her for The proprietor Of a Ladies' Seminary! |
| Queen. |
| When next your Houses do assemble, You may tremble! |
| Celia. |
| Our wrath, when gentlemen offend us, Is tremendous! |
| Leila. |
| They meet, who underrate our calling, Doom appalling! |
| Queen. |
| Take down our sentence as we speak it, And he shall wreak it! (Indicating Strephon. ) |
| Peers. |
| Oh, spare us! |
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| All. |
| Into Parliament he shall go! Backed by our/their supreme authority, He'll command a large majority! Into Parliament, P A arliament, P A R Parliament, he shall go! Into Parliament he shall go! Into Parliament, into Parliament, Parliament, Parliament, he shall go! Into Parliament he shall go! |
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| Fairies. |
| Their horror They can't dissemble Nor hide the fear that makes them tremble! |
| Fairies. | Peers. |
| With Strephon for your foe, no doubt, A fearful prospect opens out, And who shall say What evils may Result in consequence? A hideous vengeance will pursue All noblemen who venture to Oppose his views, Or boldly choose To offer him offence. |
Young Strephon is the kind of lout We do not care a fig about! We cannot say What evils may Result in consequence! But lordly vengeance will pursue All kinds of common people who Oppose our views, Or boldly choose To offer us offence. |
| 'Twill plunge them into grief and shame; His kind forbearance they must claim, If they'd escape In any shape A very painful wrench! |
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| Your powers we dauntlessly pooh-pooh: A dire revenge will fall on you. If you besiege Our high prestige — |
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| (The word "prestige" is French, The word "prestige" is French). |
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| Although our threats you now pooh-pooh: A dire revenge will fall on you. With Strephon for your foe, no doubt, A fearful prospect opens out, And who shall say What evils may Result in consequence? |
Your powers we dauntlessly pooh-pooh: A dire revenge will fall on you. Young Strephon is the kind of lout We do not care a fig about! We cannot say What evils may Result in consequence! |
| Our lordly style You shall not quench With base canaille! |
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| (That word is French.) | |
| Distinction ebbs Before a herd Of vulgar plebs! |
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| (A Latin word.) | |
| 'Twould fill with joy, And madness stark The oι πoλλoί! |
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| (A Greek remark.) | |
| One Latin word, one Greek remark, And one that's French. |
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| Your lordly style We'll quickly quench With base canaille! |
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| (That word is French.) | |
| Distinction ebbs Before a herd Of vulgar plebs! |
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| (A Latin word.) | |
'Twill fill with joy |
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| (A Greek remark.) | |
| One Latin word, one Greek remark, And one that's French. |
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| With Strephon for your foe, no doubt, A fearful prospect opens out, And who shall say What evils may Result in consequence? A hideous vengeance will pursue All noblemen who venture to Oppose his views, Or boldly choose To offer him offence. |
Young Strephon is the kind of lout We do not care a fig about! We cannot say What evils may Result in consequence! But lordly vengeance will pursue All kinds of common people who Oppose our views, Or boldly choose To offer us offence. |
| We will not wait, | You needn't wait , |
| Away you fly! | |
| We go sky high! | Your threatened hate |
| We thus defy! | |
| Our threatened hate | You needn't wait |
| You won't defy! |
Away you fly! Your threatened hate We thus, we thus defy! |
| We will not wait, We go sky high! Our threatened hate You won't defy! |
You needn't wait , Away you fly! Your threatened hate We thus defy! |
Away we go! |
Away you go! You go sky high! Your threatened hate We thus defy! We thus defy! We thus, we thus defy! We thus, we thus defy! |
Fairies threaten Peers with their wands. Peers kneel as begging for merry. Phyllis implores Strephon to relent. He casts her from him, and she falls fainting into the arms of Lord Mountararat and Lord Tolloller.
END OF ACT I
Page modified 17 December 2008