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No. 12: FINALE (Act I)
"Come hither, all you people"
 |
 |
| Rudolph. |
Come hither, all you people – |
| Ludwig. |
All the pretty women weep’ll, |
| Both. |
And they’ll all cry “Lord, defend us!” |
| Rudolph. |
| That to give this man his gruel – |
| Ludwig. |
| In a Statutory Duel – |
| Rudolph. |
| This plebeian man of shoddy – |
| Ludwig. |
| This contemptible nobody – |
| Both. |
| Your Grand Duke does not refuse! |
(During this, Chorus of men and women have entered, all trembling with apprehension under the impression that they are to be arrested for their complicity in the conspiracy.)
| Chorus. |
| With faltering feet, And our muscles in a-quiver, Our fate we meet With our feelings all unstrung! If our plot complete He has managed to diskiver, There is no retreat – There is no retreat– We shall certainly be hung, -tainly be hung! |
| Rudolph. (aside to Ludwig) |
| Now you begin and pitch it strong – walk into me abusively – |
| Ludwig. (aside to Rudolph) |
I’ve several epithets that I’ve reserved for you exclusively. |
| Rudolph. | Ludwig. | Chorus. (trembling) |
| No, you begin – | ||
| No, you begin – | ||
| No, you begin – | ||
| No, you begin! | ||
| No, you begin! | No, you begin! | Has it happed as we expected? |
| Is our little plot detected? |
DUET – RUDOLPH and LUDWIG
| Rudolph. (furiously) | |
| Big bombs, small bombs, great guns and little ones! Put him in a pillory! Rack him with artillery! |
|
| Ludwig. (furiously) | |
| Long swords, short swords, tough swords and brittle ones! Fright him into fits! Blow him into bits! |
|
| Rudolph. | Ludwig. |
| You muff, sir! | |
| You lout, sir! | |
| Enough, sir! | |
| Get out, sir! (Pushes him.) | |
| A hit, sir? | |
| Take that, sir! (Slaps him.) | |
| It’s tit, sir, | |
| For tat, sir! | |
| It’s tit, sir, | It’s tit, sir, |
| For tat, sir! | For tat, sir! |
| It’s tit, sir, | It’s tit, sir, |
| For tat, sir! Its — | For tat, sir! Its — |
| Chorus. (appalled) |
| When two doughty heroes thunder, All the world is lost in wonder; When such men their temper lose, Awful are the words they use! |
| Ludwig. |
| Tall snobs, small snobs, rich snobs and needy ones! |
| Rudolph. (jostling him) |
| Whom are you alluding to? |
| Ludwig. (jostling him) |
| Where are you intruding to? |
| Rudolph. |
| Fat snobs, thin snobs, swell snobs and seedy ones! |
| Ludwig. |
| I rather think you err. To whom do you refer? |
| Rudolph. | Ludwig. |
| To you, sir! | |
| To me, sir? | |
| I do, sir! | |
| We’ll see, sir! | |
| I jeer, sir! (Makes a face at Ludwig.) Grimace, sir! |
|
| Look here, sir – (Makes a face at Rudolph.) A face, sir! |
| It’s tit, sir, | It’s tit, sir, |
| For tat, sir! | For tat, sir! |
| It’s tit, sir, | It’s tit, sir, |
| For tat, sir! Its — | For tat, sir! Its — |
| Chorus. (appalled) |
When two doughty heroes thunder, |
| Rudolph & Ludwig. (recit., in canon) |
| He has insulted me, and, in a breath, This day we fight a duel to the death! |
| Notary. (checking them) |
| You mean, of course, by duel (verbum sat.), A Statutory Duel. |
| Chorus. |
| Why, what’s that? |
| Notary. |
| According to established legal uses, A card apiece each bold disputant chooses – Dead as a doornail is the dog who loses – The winner steps into the dead man’s shoeses! |
| Chorus. |
| Dead as a doornail is the dog who loses – The winner steps into the dead man’s shoeses! |
| Ludwig. |
| Agreed! |
| Rudolph. |
| Agreed! |
| All. |
| Agreed! |
| Rudolph. |
| Come, come – the pack! |
| Ludwig. (producing one) |
| Behold it here! |
| Rudolph. |
| I’m on the rack! |
| Ludwig. |
| I quake with fear! |
| ( Notary offers card to Ludwig.) |
| First draw to you! |
| Rudolph. (Drawing card from his sleeve.) |
| If that’s the case, Behold the King! |
| Ludwig. (same business) |
| Behold the Ace! |
| Chorus. |
Hurrah, hurrah! Our Ludwig’s won |
| Rudolph. |
| Which will occur tomorrow! Yes, yes, I’ll come to life tomorrow! |
| Gretchen. (with mocking curtsey) |
| My Lord Grand Duke, farewell! A pleasant journey, very, To your convenient cell In yonder cemetery! |
| Lisa. (curtseying) |
| Though malcontents abuse you,
We’re much distressed to lose you! You were, when you were living, So liberal, so forgiving! |
| Bertha. |
| So merciful, so gentle! So highly ornamental! |
| Olga. |
| And now that you’ve departed, You leave us broken-hearted! |
| All four. |
| Yes, truly, truly, truly, truly – Truly broken-hearted! |
| Chorus. (pretending to weep) |
| Yes, truly, truly, Truly broken-hearted! We're truly broken-hearted, Truly, truly broken heart – We're truly broken-heart, We're truly broken-hearted! |
| Rudolph. (furious) |
| Rrrrrrrrr-rapscallions, in penitential fires, You’ll rue the ribaldry that from you falls! Tomorrow afternoon the law expires. And then – look out for squalls! |
(Exit Rudolph, amid general ridicule.)
| Chorus. |
| Give thanks, give thanks to wayward fate – By mystic fortune’s sway, Our Ludwig guides the helm of State For one delightful day! (To Ludwig.) We hail you, sir! We greet you, sir! Regale you, sir! We treat you, sir! Our ruler be By fate’s decree For one delightful day! Hurrah! hurrah! Hurrah! hurrah! |
| Notary. |
| You’ve done it neatly! Pity that your powers Are limited to four-and-twenty hours! |
| Ludwig. |
| No matter, though the time will quickly run, In hours twenty-four much may be done! |
SONG – LUDWIG.
| Ludwig. |
| Oh, a Monarch who boasts intellectual graces Can do, if he likes, a good deal in a day – Can put all his friends in conspicuous places, With plenty to eat and with nothing to pay! You’ll tell me, no doubt, with unpleasant grimaces, Tomorrow, deprived of your ribbons and laces, You’ll get your dismissal – with very long faces – But wait! on that topic I’ve something to say! (Dancing.) I’ve something to say – I’ve something to say – |
| Chorus. |
| He’s something, he's something, He’s something, he's something to say! |
| Ludwig. |
| Oh, our rule shall be merry – I’m not an ascetic – And while the sun shines we will get up our hay – By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic, A very great deal may be done in a day! |
| Chorus. |
| Oh, his rule will be merry – he's not an ascetic – And while the sun shines we will get up our hay – By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic, A very great deal may be done in a day! |
(During this, Ludwig whispers to Notary, who writes.)
| Ludwig. |
| For instance, this measure (his ancestor drew it), (alluding to Notary) This law against duels – tomorrow will die – The Duke will revive, and you’ll certainly rue it – He’ll give you “what for” and he’ll let you know why But in twenty‑four hours there’s time to renew it – With a century’s life I’ve the right to imbue it – It’s easy to do – and, by Jingo, I’ll do it! (Signing paper, which Notary presents.) It’s done! Till I perish your Monarch am I! |
| Chorus. |
| Our Monarch is he, Our Monarch is he, Our Monarch, our Monarch is he, |
| Ludwig. |
| Though I do not pretend to be very prophetic, I fancy I know what you’re going to say – By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic, A very great deal may be done in a day! |
| Chorus. (astonished) |
| Oh, it’s simply uncanny, his power prophetic – It’s perfectly right – we were going to say, By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic, A very great deal may be done in a day! |
(Enter Julia, at back.)
| Ludwig. (recit.) |
| This very afternoon – at two (about) – The Court appointments will be given out. To each and all (for that was the condition) According to professional position! |
| Chorus. |
| Hurrah! Hurrah! |
| Julia. |
| Oh, Heav’n! |
| Chorus. |
| What’s the matter? |
| Julia. (coming forward) |
| According to professional position? |
| Chorus. |
| According to professional position! |
| Julia. |
| Then, horror! horror! horror! horror! horror! |
| Chorus. |
| Why, what’s the matter? What’s the matter?What’s the matter? |
SONG – JULIA. (Lisa clinging to her.)
| Julia. | |
 |
Ah, pity me, my comrades true, Who love, as well I know you do, This gentle child, To me so fondly dear! |
| Chorus. | |
| Why, what’s the matter? What's the matter? |
|
| Julia. | |
| Our sister love so true and deep From many an eye unused to weep Hath oft beguiled The coy reluctant tear! |
|
| Chorus. | |
| Why, what’s the matter? What's the matter? |
|
| Julia. | |
| Each sympathetic heart ’twill bruise When you have heard the frightful news (O will it not?) That I must now impart! |
| Chorus. |
| Why, what’s the matter? What's the matter? What's the matter? |
| Julia. |
| Her love for him is all in all! Ah, cursèd fate! that it should fall Unto my lot To break, to break my darling’s heart! |
| Chorus. |
| Why, what’s the matter? What's the matter? |
| Julia. | Ludwig. | Chorus. |
| What means our Julia by those fateful looks? | ||
| Ah! cursèd fate! | Please | |
| do not keep us all on | ||
| Ah! cursèd fate! | tenter hooks — | |
| Ah! cursèd fate! | Now, what's the matter? | What's the matter? What's the matter? |
| What's the matter? | What's the matter? What's the matter? |
| Julia. |
| Our duty, if we’re wise, We never shun. This Spartan rule applies To every one. In theatres, as in life, Each has her line – This part – the Grand Duke’s wife |
| Chorus. |
| Well, what’s the matter? |
| Julia. |
| (Oh agony!) is mine! |
| Chorus. |
| Oh, that’s the matter, that’s the matter, is it? |
| Julia. |
| A maxim new I do not start – The canons of dramatic art Decree that this repulsive part (The Grand Duke’s wife) Is mine! |
| Lisa. (appalled, to Ludwig) |
| Can that be so? |
| Ludwig. |
| I do not know – But time will show If this be so. |
| Chorus. |
| Time will show if this be so. |
DUET – LISA and JULIA.
| Lisa. |
| Oh, listen to me, dear – I love him only, darling! Remember, oh, my pet, On him my heart is set! This kindness do me, dear – Nor leave me lonely, darling! Be merciful, my pet, On him my love is set! |
| Julia. |
| Now don’t be foolish, dear – You couldn’t play it, darling! It’s “leading business”, pet And you’re but a soubrette. So don’t be mulish, dear – Although I say it, darling, It’s not your line, my pet – I play that part, you bet! I play it – I play that part, you bet! You bet, you bet! |
(Lisa overwhelmed with grief.)
| Notary. |
| The lady’s right. Though Julia’s engagement Was for the stage meant – It certainly frees Ludwig from his Connubial promise. Though marriage contracts – or whate’er you call’em – Are very solemn, Dramatic contracts (which you all adore so) Are even more so! |
| Chorus. |
| That’s very true! Though marriage contracts are very solemn, Dramatic contracts are even more so. |
SONG – LISA.
| Lisa. |  |
|
| The die is cast, My hope has perished! Farewell, O Past, Too bright to last, Yet fondly cherished! My hope has fled, My life is dead, Its doom, its doom is spoken! |
||
| Lisa. | Chorus. | |
| My day is night, | ||
| Her day | ||
| My wrong is right | is night, | |
| is right in all men's sight, | is right in all men's sight, | |
| in all men's sight, | all | |
| Ah me! | men's sight! | |
| Ah me! | ||
| My heart is broken, is broken, | ||
| My heart is broken | Broken. | |
(Exit Lisa weeping.)
| Ludwig. (recit.) |
| Poor child, where will she go? What will she do? |
| Julia. (spoken) |
| That isn’t in your part, you know. |
| Ludwig. (sighing) |
| Quite true! |
| (With an effort.) |
| Depressing topics we’ll not touch upon – Let us begin as we are going on! |
SONG – LUDWIG and CHORUS.
| Ludwig. |
| For this will be a jolly Court, for little and for big! |
| Chorus. |
| Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| Ludwig. |
| From morn to night our lives shall be as merry as a grig! |
| Chorus. |
| Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| Ludwig. |
| All state and ceremony we’ll eternally abolish – We don’t mean to insist upon unnecessary polish – And, on the whole, I rather think you’ll find our rule tollolish! |
| Chorus. |
| Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| Ludwig. |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Chorus. |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Ludwig. |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Chorus. |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Ludwig & Chorus. |
The jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jinks! For this will be a jolly Court, for little and for big! |
| Julia. |
| But stay – your new-made Court Without a courtly coat is. We shall require Some Court attire, And at a moment’s notice. In clothes of common sort Your courtiers must not grovel; Your new noblesse Must have a dress Original and novel! |
| Chorus. |
| Now let us guess what kind of dress Would be both neat and novel. |
| Ludwig. |
| Old Athens we’ll exhume! The necessary dresses, Correct and true (And all brand-new) The company possesses. Henceforth our Court costume Shall live in song and story, For we’ll upraise The dead old days Of Athens in her glory! |
| Chorus. |
| Yes, let’s upraise The dead old days Of Athens in her glory! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Agreed! Agreed! Agreed! |
| Ludwig. |
| For this will be a jolly Court, for little and for big! |
| Chorus. |
| Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| Ludwig. |
| From morn to night our lives shall be as merry as a grig! |
| Chorus. |
| Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| Women. | Men. |
| Sing hey, the jolly, | Sing hey the jolly, jolly jinks, |
| jolly, jolly jinks, | the jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Sing hey, sing hey, | Sing hey the jolly, jolly jinks, |
| Sing hey, sing hey, | Sing hey, sing hey, |
| Sing hey, the jinks, | Sing hey, |
| the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! | the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig! |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, | The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| The jolly, jolly jinks, | The jolly, jolly jinks, |
| The jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jinks! | The jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly, jinks! |
(They carry Ludwig round stage and deposit him on the ironwork of well. Julia stands by him, and the rest group round them.
END OF ACT I.
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Page Created 19 June, 2006