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No. 9 - Duet - Cheyne and Ada - "Golf."
| Cheyne: | Golf is an excellent game in its way, |
| Ada: | But ev'rything's all "in its way," |
| Cheyne: | Golf is a game that was not meant to play |
| Ada: | A good deal too serious for "play," |
| Cheyne: | But if you want an excuse for a walk, |
| Ada: | Golf's the excuse for a walk, |
| Cheyne: | If to the lady you're burning to talk, |
| Ada: | Golf's not the subject you talk. Oh, a glorious game is golf, |
| Cheyne: | You'll forgive me, I pray, if I cough! |
| Ada: | If you've a daughter you want to "go off," Encourage the girl to play golf. |
| Cheyne: | That's the curious thing about golf, One always appears to "go off." |
| Cheyne: | Golf's not a game that a lady should play, |
| Ada: | No perfect lady can play. |
| Cheyne: | A maiden can soon learn the language of flow'rs, |
| Ada: | But the language of golf lasts for hours. |
| Cheyne: | Though you've had several shots at the ball, |
| Ada: | Nothing occurs to the ball. |
| Cheyne: | Caddy will laugh as you break up your "tee" |
| Ada: | "Caddies" were made to hold "tea." Oh, a glorious game is golf, |
| Cheyne: | You'll forgive me, I pray, if I cough! |
| Ada: | If you've a friend that you want to "score off," Ask him to play you at golf. |
| Cheyne: | If you try to defeat him at golf, Your "score" will be probably "off." |
| Cheyne: | Golf is an excellent game on the whole, |
| Ada: | But nobody gets in the hole, |
| Cheyne: | Golf is a game where you're "like as you lie," |
| Ada: | You can "lie and you like" if you try. |
| Cheyne: | Golf is a game where you "get in a swing," |
| Ada: | Nobody gets in the swing, |
| Cheyne: | Golf is a game where you end on the green, |
| Ada: | And ends up by turning you green! Oh, a glorious game is golf, |
| Cheyne: | You'll excuse me, I pray, if I cough! |
| Ada: | If you've a headache which never leaves off, Just drive to the links and play golf. |
| Cheyne: | But as soon as you start to play golf, The head of your driver comes off. |
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British Musical Theatre | Three Little Maids
Page modified 13 April 2017