The Author to his Reader.

And why on earth good Bailey Ben
(The wisest, noblest, best of men)
Made Simple James his right-hand man
Is quite beyond my mental span.

The same, continued.

But there — enough of gruesome deeds!
My heart in thinking of them, bleeds;
And so let Simple James take wing,
'Tis not of him I'm going to sing.

The Pasha's Clerk.

Good Pasha Bailey kept a clerk
(For Bailey only made his mark),
His name was Matthew Wycombe Coo,
A man of nearly forty-two.

His Accomplishments.

No person that I ever knew
Could "yodel" half as well as Coo,
And Highlanders exclaimed, "Eh, weel!"
When Coo began to dance a reel.

His Kindness to the Pasha's Wives.

He used to dance and sing and play
In such an unaffected way,
He cheered the unexciting lives
Of Pasha Bailey's lovely wives.

The Author to his Reader.

The why should I encumber you
With histories of Matthew Coo?
Let MATTHEW COO at once take wing,--
'Tis not of Coo I'm going to sing.

The Author's Muse.

Let me recall my wandering Muse
She shall be steady if I choose--
She roves, instead of helping me
To tell the deeds of Bailey B.

The Pasha's Visitor.

One morning knocked, at half-past eight,
A tall Red Indian at his gate.
In Turkey, as you're p'raps aware,
Red Indians are extremely rare.

The Visitor's Outfit.

Mocassins decked his graceful legs,
His eyes were black, and round as eggs,
And on his neck, instead of beads,
Hung several Catawampous seeds.

What the Visitor said.

"Ho, ho!" he said, "thou pale-faced one,
Poor offspring of an Eastern sun,
You've never seen the Red Man skip
Upon the banks of Mississip!

The Author's Moderation.

To say that Bailey oped his eyes
Would feebly paint his great surprise —
To say it almost made him die
Would be to paint it much too high.

The Author to his Reader.

But why should I ransack my head
To tell you all that Indian said,
We'll let the Indian man take wing,--
'Tis not of him I'm going to sing.

The Reader to the Author.

Come, come, I say, that's quite enough
Of this absurd disjointed stuff;
Now let's get on to that affair
About Lieutenant-Colonel Flare.