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Pantomimic Presentiments
Of the many Thespian races who are living or have gone;
I began aloud to wonder on the next dramatic blunder
Which my criticism's thunder would be exercised upon.
(Passing MENKEN as Mazeppa, on her omnibus high-steppah,)
There was glorious PAREPA — there were BILLINGTON and TOOLE;
There was BUCKSTONE slying winking — there was pretty Eily sinking,
There was Rip Van Winkle drinking like a poor besotted fool.
There were KATE and ELLEN TERRY, looking beautiful and merry, WIDDICOMB about to bury poor Ophelia in her tomb;
There was SOTHERN as Dundreary, FANNY JOSEPHS as a Peri;
There was Richard Pride all beery, there was Manfred in his gloom.
And I thought on all the pleasure that each photographic treasure
Had afforded, in my leisure, twenty times apiece to me;
But I'm only what one calls a man — e'en chronic Winkle palls a man, And only CamaraIzaman remains for me to see!
I'm beginning to get weary of dramatic desert dreary,
And I ask myself a query, when will novelties begin?
But, alas! there's nothing novel, from the "Lane" to barn and hovel, Until Harlequin Lord Lovel, Goody Two Shoes, Gaffer Gin!
As I turn away from LACY's, I'm detected making faces
As I scan the queer oasis now unfolding to my view;
It's a green I can't admire, for it comes of coloured fire;
I'm beginning now to tire of it — green, or red, or blue!
Seedy sprites forever vaulting, seedy metre ever halting,
Men of "property" cobalting eighteen-penny devil's face;
And the foolish culmination in a weary "transformation,"
Whose complete elaboration takes a twenty minutes' space!
Then the green and crimson fire, and the women hung on wire
Rising higher, rising higher — oh, their bony, baggy knees!
And the never-failing "rally," and the fine old crusted sally,
And the "Ladies of the Bally," and the fays who sniff and sneeze!
All the stockings gone in ladders — then the sausages and bladders, And the chromes, and greens, and madders, that I've seen five |
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thousand times; | |
And the glitter, gauze, and spangle, and the clown turned in the | |
mangle, | |
And the everlasting jangle of the mutilated rhymes. |
There's that fickle Covent Garding, promised operas retarding,
And perhaps for aye discarding, in their love of Dividend;
But they've failed in English operer, and wisely think it properer,
By pantomime tiptop-erer their balance sheet to mend!
So, with gorge-e-ous Aladdin, dream of luring swell and cad in
(Who are always to be had in for a showy pantomime),
And abandoning old trammels, wean poor Opera on mammals,
In the shape of four live camels, draped as in Aladdin's time.
So I turn away from LACY's, making unbecoming faces
At this Pantomime oasis, — fun and fire, and leg and rhyme!
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Page Created 30 July, 2011