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How to Write an Irish Drama
Fun, IV - lst December 1866
If you'd write an Irish drama, |
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Be awhile attentive, pray, |
While I show a panorama |
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Of ingredients in the play. |
Take, oh take some lads and lasses, |
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Take a dreary moonlight glen, |
Take a comic spy who passes |
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Through a lodge of Ribbon men. |
Take a burly Irish squire, |
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Take a wretch to work the harm; |
Let him set a barn on fire, |
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Take a mortgage on a farm. |
Take a chain of circumstances |
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Implicating innocence, |
Take a chambermaid who dances, |
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Take unworthy evidence. |
Take a secret still, and work it, |
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Take a rattling Irish jig; |
Take a judge who sits on circuit, |
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In his flowing full-dress wig. |
Take a lawyer in a fury — |
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Evidence that's most unfair, |
Take an idiotic jury |
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With moustache and flowing hair. |
Take a colleen, flirty, jilty, |
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Take a crowd in court to yell, |
Take a verdict, too, of guilty, |
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Take a priest and take a cell. |
Take a noble sheriff, bringing |
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Pardon, which the convict claims, |
Take the village bells a-ringing, — |
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Take and pitch 'em in the Thames. |
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29 July, 2011