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No. 19 - Song - Henry - "I could love you if I tried."
| Henry: | I once made Mama a promise I would never flirt again But I quickly had to break it, For I found it such a strain, When the girls flock round me And begin to tease, I say "Ma, what can I do with these?" And yet, you know, I'm not hard to please! "I think I could love you If like Melba you could sing, Or if like Gertie Millar you could smile; From Hampstead to Chelsea I'd follow Lily Elsie, And for Ethel Levey I would walk a mile. I feel I could kiss you If like Pavlova you danced, Or if like dear Gaby you could glide; Tho' I've a flat in Balham And I'm not like Basil Hallam, Still, I'm sure I could love you if I tried!" My friend Jones one day got married, And he thought his wife a dream, But she fed him on cold mutton Till he felt inclined to scream, When one night at supper-time he fairly swore, She cried, "Don't you love me any more?" "My dear," said he, "I've told you before: I think I could love you If you look'd like Phyllis Dare, Or like Mabel Russell you could smile; I start and grow paler At sight of Laurette Taylor, And for Elsie Janis I could walk a mile. I feel I could kiss you If you danced like Gabrielle Ray, Or like Vesta Tilley you could stride; I'll sing "To-Night's the Night" If I can get off with Lee White, And I'm sure I could love you if I tried!" Missus Jones then got her temper up, As women sometimes do, And she turn'd upon her husband, saying, "Much obliged to you." Why on earth I married you I can't explain, Was it love, or soft'ning of the brain? Then to her spouse she sang this refrain— "I think I could love you If you talked like Cyril Maude, Or if like George Grossmith you could smile; From Peckham to Mayfair I'd follow Arthur Playfair, And with Seymour Hicks I'd gladly walk a mile. I feel I could kiss you If you danced like Joseph Coyne, Or if like Charles Hawtrey you just "lied"; If you chased me round the houses Wearing Charlie Chaplin's "trouses," Then I think I could love you if I tried!" |
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American Musical Theatre | To-Night's the Night
Page modified 15 April 2017